I Might Blow Up and Die and You Could Too
Today our hot water tank started to leak. I was in the kitchen and I heard a sound like someone turned on the basement laundry sink at full blast. Except nobody was down there, and as long as we’ve lived here I don’t think I have ever even used the laundry sink.
So I go downstairs, and sure enough, water everywhere coming from the water heater. Fantastic.
6 months ago or so, the hot water tank was leaking. I wanted to replace it then and there. “Oh no,” I was told…”We’ll just fix it, you’ll get another year or two out of it, nevermind the thing is already 15 years old and only has a 6 year warranty and hot water tanks blow up like rockets.” I let my hubby and his Dad fix it, tried to have some trust, rationalize that my fears are irrational, and forgot all about it until today.
Upon finding water pouring everywhere my first instinct is to call a plumber of course. Except, as outlined by some unexplainable law, hot water tanks only start leaking after normal business hours.
My husband decided he would fix it. “Oh no you don’t,” I say.
The kids are running around everywhere cause it’s actually nice outside for the first time in like 4 months. They are rolling around and covered in mud and throwing flying objects through the air. Our house is on a busy street, so I don’t want to let them out of my site for even a second. It’s a bit chaotic.
My father in law comes over. Double Fantastic. Trying to convince my hubby to do something smart about this is getting increasingly difficult.
I call my Dad. Phone’s cutting out, kids in mud, balls bouncing around…I call Home Depot. I used to know the people who installed their hot water tanks, they were nice guys. Except nobody can tell me a price or can actually order one. It’s a shame I feel foolish to even have expected that…really should have known better!
I start searching for 24 hour plumbers in Pgh. If I could just get someone to get here before my hubby does anything maybe we’ll be okay. (BTW, thank you totally clueless so called web developer for taking down your clients site while you work on it. Brilliant. Especially when they rank organically in the #1 spot for “24 hour plumber Pittsburgh”…yeesh)
So, since no one in Pittsburgh apparently does 24 hour plumbing, (or clearly they have no concept of the internet and/or are being bamboozled by some sort of “seo expert”), I only have three minutes to get someone to come over to save the day. The kids are running around and mud is all over everything…I have no other means to stop what is about to happen…Ray goes and buys a hot water tank.
Once Ray is back, I decide to leave, convinced we will all die in a fiery explosion. I’m not really scared much of death, but fiery explosions, yes. Hot water tanks aren’t fiery when they explode (they are just water afterall) – but they sure do explode. I pack up things, trying to figure out what the hell I’m going to do with three kids at 8:00 at night.
While I’m getting the kids ready to go (My oldest and youngest were enjoying their “last meal in the house” – yes, totally ice cream for dinner type of night!) Ray and his Dad realize the water tank is the wrong size. Perfect, I think, we will just get a plumber now. Because, if you don’t even know what hot water tank to buy, you should totally not install one.
Nope, hubby decided to just exchange the one he bought for a different one. So, because I have a strange phobia of water tanks blowing up, no water, and about three loads of laundry to do (that’s the average for a basic day around here), and just need some sort of well lit place that is open at this point – I take the kids to the laundromat.
Oddly enough, the laundromat was the best part of the day and the kids loved it. Putting quarters in the machine, pushing buttons, totally thrilling for anyone between the ages of 1 and 8.
Our clothes weren’t washed in any ordinary washing machine. Oh no, it was a spaceship. It even spun around so fast our clothes disappeared for awhile. We played games, read books. I’m telling you, we had fun. Def. more fun than worrying about blowing up that’s for sure.
Once we were done with laundry and on our way to the grocery store for some supplies, Ray called, he doesn’t have the piece he needs to replace the water tank tonight, so it was good news to hear my husband was still alive and our house did not blow up.
Of course, we come home and he’s mad there is no warm water and he wants a shower and what a horrible day its been and how it’s the store’s fault they didn’t sell him the piece he needed to get it done.
Hmmm…had we called a plumber, he could have gone to his parent’s or a friend’s house for a shower, somebody would be coming tomorrow, they’d fix it in a couple of hours and we’d be done with this whole mess and I would not be up late at night writing this blog post and researching hot water tank explosions and angry over a crummy web developer and supposed internet marketing expert totally screwing over not just his client but ME.
Instead, tomorrow, I am leaving the house again for who knows how long and hoping when I return I will still have a husband and a house. Because if you buy the wrong hot water tank, and don’t buy the right fittings, it’s a sure sign you should not be installing the water heater yourself. I don’t even want a hot water tank in my house. Not at all. I am ready to move out of the house completely, maybe go live in a tent for awhile or something. Ray thinks I am crazy. Maybe I am crazy, but being crazy is totally better than blowing up.
In the car, my oldest was talking about how I was afraid Ray will blow us up. I said, no honey, we can’t say that because that will hurt Ray’s feelings. Instead, let’s say Your mom is neurotic and terrified of hot water tanks. “What’s neurotic mean?” It means I am crazy. “Yeah, You are definitely crazy mom”. Thanks kiddo.
Oh yeah, wanna know why Ray insists on doing this himself? To save money of course. Nevermind we’ve just totally wasted over 7 hours already, and still don’t have hot water. And, on top of it all, I still think we’re all going to blow up and die. Money, shmoney. I don’t care if I have money or not. Def. DO care whether we blow up or not.
So, this is post is just to warn you – I might blow up and die, and you might too (have you checked your hot water tank lately?) – but at least, as usual, I’ve learned some important reminders and lessons from it.
The Morals of This Story
1. Never do something yourself when you can pay a professional to do it for less than what it costs you in time
I value my time at $200/hour – multiply that by 7 hours today and 5 hours tomorrow, $2400 – Cost of Hiring a plumber? $600-$700 tops I’m sure. Doing this to “save money” is costing a lot when you look at it this way.
2. If your business does not rank in Google, your business does not exist
Attn: 24 hour plumbers in Pittsburgh, I do not own a phonebook. I do not know you exist. I really, really, really, would have liked to have given someone money today to stop the madness.
3. Everyone Should Know Hot Water Tank Safety
Apparently, when our tank started leaking a few months ago up until now it has been very dangerous, but they are also dangerous from the minute they have water and pressure in them. One option I would like to explore (though, obviously, too late now) is to get a tankless water heater. If you have a traditional tank, make sure you regularly test your temperature and pressure gauge. Call a plumber if things go wrong. Don’t try to do it yourself unless you are a plumber. All things I would do but still have to remember…
4. Don’t Panic When Things Go Wrong
Despite my phobias and fears about it, a hot water tank leaking is a pretty normal occurrence. It happens to just about everybody at some point. No need to panic. Panic causes you to make bad decisions that cause you to make more bad decisions. Being frantic, overreacting…just makes a bad situation totally worse.
All we had to do to have made today a much better day was do nothing.
What do you think – am I neurotic? Overly paranoid about hot water tanks? Do you have weird phobias too?
Update: Good news, I am pretty sure we will not die. Well, water heaters can go anytime, even when new – but so far so good – and we even found an awesome plumber who came to inspect Ray’s work for $80. He said Ray did a better job than he would have done himself, which is perhaps proof I may be irrational. Either way, peace of mind is well worth it in my opinion!
